AASM: “I’m a recovering alcoholic…”

“I’m a recovering alcoholic, approaching fifteen months of sobriety. I attend AA meetings twice a week, which my boss has been really great about supporting. However, she holds monthly staff meetings at this upscale bar and lounge her friend owns. I have told her that I don’t feel comfortable being in an environment where everyone is drinking and for a while she was supporting my decision not to attend. Lately though, she’s been pressuring me to start going again. She says I’m missing important information and that I’m not being a ‘team player.’ I told her that I’d be happy to attend staff meetings in the salon, but I can’t go to a bar. My addiction was very severe (life-threatening) and I don’t think I’ll ever be at a place where I can safely step into that environment.

She refuses to move the meetings just to accommodate me. The last time we talked about it, she seemed very impatient with me and told me I was being melodramatic. She accused me of not wanting to go and using my alcoholism as an excuse. What do I say to her to help her understand? Should I just find a new job?”


The problem isn’t that your employer doesn’t see your alcoholism as an illness–it’s that she seems to assume you can recover from it much in the same way you’d recover from the flu. She needs to understand that time doesn’t heal addiction the way that it heals injuries or viral infections. This is a disease you will struggle with for the rest of your life.

To get her to understand this, I suggest either providing her with information on alcoholism, bringing her to a meeting, or having your sponsor speak with her. Go ahead and show her this post if you want.

You’ve already made it clear that you’re not using your alcoholism as an excuse not to attend by communicating to her that you’d be happy to attend if the meetings were held elsewhere–so the argument that you’re using your addiction as “an excuse” is entirely invalid. Telling you that you’re being “melodramatic” is incredibly ignorant and insensitive. It says a lot about her character and lack of maturity that she would say that to you and stubbornly refuse to change the meeting venue.

I’m not certain about the feasibility of making a claim for reasonable accommodation on the basis of your addiction as a disability, but I’m willing to bet any judge reading the ADA would determine that your owner needs to be holding the meetings in a more appropriate setting.

In my opinion, it is unreasonable, unfair, and cruel to expect you to risk relapsing for something as petty as an employee meeting. If she can’t understand the struggles you’re facing, you might be better off finding an employer who can and who will respect your commitment to recovery.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Need help? Let's talk.

Schedule an appointment to meet and discuss your goals and challenges.

Latest

Do booth or suite renters have to accept the salon owner’s gift certificates?

Is your salon landlord being a Grinch this holiday season?

Your Day in Court: How to Behave in Front of a Judge

So, you're going to court (most likely a small...

Help! My booth renters aren’t paying their rent!

What can you do when your booth renters are behind on payments and you don't have a written lease?

The Salon Owner’s and Booth Renter’s Guide to Avoiding an IRS Audit

Cash based businesses, like salons, are often targeted for...

Popular

Know Your Rights in the Salon: Employee, Independent Contractor, Booth Renter

Do you know what your rights are as a...

Exploitation Exposed: 8 Shameless Salon Practices That Aren’t Legal

By now, it's no secret that many beauty professionals...

How to Inform Your Clients that You’re Moving to a New Business

Alright, so you were a good person and you...

Why Favors Don’t Pay and Clients Can’t Be “Friends”

"Never work for free!" I say it a lot. I...

Wage Deductions: Salon Owners Charging Employees For Product

"Is it legal for my boss to take product...

Management

Do booth or suite renters have to accept the salon owner’s gift certificates?

Is your salon landlord being a Grinch this holiday season?

Your Day in Court: How to Behave in Front of a Judge

So, you're going to court (most likely a small...

Help! My booth renters aren’t paying their rent!

What can you do when your booth renters are behind on payments and you don't have a written lease?

The Salon Owner’s and Booth Renter’s Guide to Avoiding an IRS Audit

Cash based businesses, like salons, are often targeted for...

How to Tactfully Express Dissatisfaction

"I'm a salon manager with a staff of eight....
Tina Alberino
Tina Alberinohttps://thisuglybeautybusiness.com
Beauty industry survivalist, salon crisis interventionist, tactical verb-weapon specialist, and the leader of at least a hundred workplace revolutions, Tina Alberino is known as much for her extensive knowledge as for her sarcastic wit and mercilessly straightforward style. She’s the author of The Beauty Industry Survival Guide and Salon Ownership and Management: A Definitive Guide to the Professional Beauty Business. When she’s not writing, educating, or consulting, she can be found overthinking everything, identifying problems people didn’t know existed, and stubbornly working to change the things she cannot accept.

Do booth or suite renters have to accept the salon owner’s gift certificates?

Is your salon landlord being a Grinch this holiday season?

Your Day in Court: How to Behave in Front of a Judge

So, you're going to court (most likely a small claims court in your county). You're going to have to sit in front of a...

Help! My booth renters aren’t paying their rent!

What can you do when your booth renters are behind on payments and you don't have a written lease?

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here
Captcha verification failed!
CAPTCHA user score failed. Please contact us!

0
    0
    Your Cart
    Your cart is emptyReturn to Shop