Over the last few months, I’ve been paralyzed. Writing, which always came easily to me, became damn near impossible. I couldn’t come up with article ideas, and when I finally did, I struggled to put the content together. I knew what I wanted to say, but the whole time, this voice in my head kept saying things like, “Nobody cares about this.” “All of this is so obvious, it’s not even worth writing about.” “What the hell happened to you? Remember when you could be somewhat insightful? Those were good times, but now you’re a boring idiot.” I’m my own worst critic, but I’m also a problem-solver. I tried to determine when writing became so difficult and quickly realized my performance anxiety started right when the VIP program launched. Before, people consumed the content on this site for free, and because they weren’t paying, I felt empowered to write about whatever the hell I wanted, however I pleased. As soon as patrons entered the equation, I became intellectually impotent, crushed under the weight of imaginary expectations. Not one single person told me to change my approach to creating content. Nobody complained, criticized, or even put forth the suggestion that I should do anything differently. I did this to myself, and in the process, turned working into a miserable, tortuous experience. Last month, I hit a wall—hard—and couldn’t move past it. Something had to give. My options were a.) I find a way to find joy in doing this thing, or b.) it’s over. This blog became successful for a reason. People don’t come here to read generic, textbook-style mediocrity. (That’s what the trade magazines are for, am I right?) Nobody is here for bland articles written by a faceless, fact-spewing machine. My readers are here for no-bullshit insight from a real person who isn’t afraid to challenge their assumptions or spit in the face of the status quo. So, that's how I approached my work this month. I drank a beer, left my fucks at the door, and followed my instincts--promising myself that I wouldn't kill the draft in editing later.
As a result, I produced this month's articles faster and had a lot more fun writing them. I felt energized and excited about the content. I was so enthused that I wrote a third article draft in under an hour. I found the joy again, and I'm not about to give it up. So, I won't be prioritizing “providing valuable information" over passion-driven content anymore. Worrying about what I think my patrons need instead of what I feel compelled to share has resulted in stilted, forced articles that were frustrating to write. This month's articles mark the start of a return to the good ol' days. I’ll be writing what I want, how I want--whether you like it or not.
Just remember--as VIP members, you have a high degree of influence over the content here and I'm happy to deliver. If you want me to explore a topic, email me. I'm here for you. |